One Dump or Two?
The other day, I was thinking to myself, I don’t think the Nobel Prize writer Derek Walcott ever imagined that a 21-year-old college student would be studying his works while taking a gigantic dump on the toilet.
Crap reminds me of my 2 week stay in Japan where I found myself perspiring and panting on the toilet of our lush Japanese hotel room. We were on our way to tour the city when it came to my attention that a natural disaster was about to pass through my colon. Trying my best to get through the situation gracefully, I locked myself in the bathroom while my 3 male companions waited for me to finish. First of all, I hate to take dumps outside of my household; it makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. I also don’t like to advertise that girls poop. I have already convinced my boyfriend that I poop nothing but petunias and I’d hate to spoil the surprise before we get married. But I digress. So, I’m sitting there on this Japanese toilet struggling to get rid of my Japanese food while chirpy, Japanese house cleaning personnel repeatedly rap on the bathroom door and inquire, “Herro?”
I recently finished my 5-page analyzation of Rasselas, a short fable-like tale written by Samuel Johnson. The story of Rasselas is ultimately about the pursuit of happiness. Johnson’s opinion, it seems, is that humans will endlessly search for total and complete happiness but that ultimately we shall never obtain it. Life, he says, will always be full of good and bad and we, as humans, should accept our predicament. From this reading, I was able to produce my thesis: Stop your bitching, woman, and get back in the kitchen.
I know you did not ask for essay writing advice but I’m going to give it to you anyway. For any of your future papers/essays please do not begin them with generalizations like: In today’s society, Throughout history, etc. This is a very boring way to start a paper that probably already has a boring subject.
Shibooya Radio has 6 new songs at your disposal. I know you were le freaking out because there were none but now order has been restored, therefore, rejoice.
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