The other day, I was thinking to myself, I don’t think the Nobel Prize writer Derek Walcott ever imagined that a 21-year-old college student would be studying his works while taking a gigantic dump on the toilet.
Crap reminds me of my 2 week stay in Japan where I found myself perspiring and panting on the toilet of our lush Japanese hotel room. We were on our way to tour the city when it came to my attention that a natural disaster was about to pass through my colon. Trying my best to get through the situation gracefully, I locked myself in the bathroom while my 3 male companions waited for me to finish. First of all, I hate to take dumps outside of my household; it makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. I also don’t like to advertise that girls poop. I have already convinced my boyfriend that I poop nothing but petunias and I’d hate to spoil the surprise before we get married. But I digress. So, I’m sitting there on this Japanese toilet struggling to get rid of my Japanese food while chirpy, Japanese house cleaning personnel repeatedly rap on the bathroom door and inquire, “Herro?”
I recently finished my 5-page analyzation of Rasselas, a short fable-like tale written by Samuel Johnson. The story of Rasselas is ultimately about the pursuit of happiness. Johnson’s opinion, it seems, is that humans will endlessly search for total and complete happiness but that ultimately we shall never obtain it. Life, he says, will always be full of good and bad and we, as humans, should accept our predicament. From this reading, I was able to produce my thesis: Stop your bitching, woman, and get back in the kitchen.
I know you did not ask for essay writing advice but I’m going to give it to you anyway. For any of your future papers/essays please do not begin them with generalizations like: In today’s society, Throughout history, etc. This is a very boring way to start a paper that probably already has a boring subject.
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I'm MC, a twenty-something 
12 Comments so far
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fuckin hott….u promised it’d be sexier and u delivered…i gotta go masterbate now.
By Ricardo on 09.21.05 3:59 pm | Permalink
Japan? I wan tto go there T_T lol, petunias…. XD
By Trini on 09.21.05 6:20 pm | Permalink
There was a thread on a message board I go to titled “YOUR PARADISE” and people commented on their ultimate paradise, thinking that they will be content with it for the rest of their life.
But, not me.
My reply was “Paradise doesn’t exist. Maybe for a short time it exists, but not forever…
Think about it: if you got what you wanted then you would become bored with it…and then you would want to obtain a “new” paradise.
Which is why I do not have a paradise, in the sense of the definition that is being discussed here. I find that living life with its faults and mortalities is the best I can get without feeling empty.”
So, I do agree with the theme of Rasselas. It’s a sad truth, but then again, it makes life more worth living if you get little bits of paradise once in a while. ^_~
By Sara on 09.21.05 11:37 pm | Permalink
You wrote about poop lol
I think true happiness is findng money on the ground, nothing beats that. Or when Biochemistry Lab gets cancelled. I’m easy to please I guess.
Thanks for having shibooya radio back up! Shibooya radio kicks regular radio stations’ ass any day.
By Olivia on 09.22.05 9:55 am | Permalink
Oh, Olivia, you are the bestest! I want updates on YOUR site, pronto.
By Mari on 09.22.05 10:13 am | Permalink
ok you know what, you made my day. Talking about poop and so freely, you are my new hero. Seriously. I know what you mean, its not something you want your bf to think about, you are supposed to be this goddess, with innate grace and beauty, we dont sweat we glisten, we dont burp, or fart or any of it. Then reality sets in…
I hate public washrooms, i have massive stage fright. I can only pee if no one is in the room or if a toilet flushes first. its nuts i know, but i refuse to go in a public washroom unless its OMG im gonna go right here.
By dianastar on 09.22.05 4:29 pm | Permalink
poop, ha ha. just kidding
you’r layout is soo perddy! i love it, big mamma!
lol.
By Michele on 09.22.05 8:03 pm | Permalink
Hah awesome, an entry almost entirely devoted to female poopery. It’s good that you’re honest about that; it shouldn’t really be surprising to learn that yes, girls in fact DO doo-doo. Anyways, I think I’ll take your thesis-writing advice to heart, seeing as how I start almost every essay with something like the examples in your entry. Take it easy!
By Jacks on 09.22.05 10:30 pm | Permalink
Wow! This is the first time I have been to your website - and I am in love with your layout! It is not only wonderfully colourful, eyecatching and exciting, but not too over the top and very well put together!!
Your weblog entries are very well written and actually VERY interesting and humourus!
I am going to bookmark your site, and I’ll be back soon!
By Carly on 09.23.05 9:56 am | Permalink
Hey, its Em (from M-L!) Love your site, the layout is gorgeous! And you’re absolutely hilarious! xox
By Em on 09.23.05 7:31 pm | Permalink
Haha, I read a lot on the toilet too. It’s so cool that you’ve been to Japan. It’s been a dream of mine since I was little.
By Kelsey on 09.23.05 7:51 pm | Permalink
I think this is the first time I’ve read in a blog about someone taking a “dump” and it’s written by a girl. lol I agree with you though, I can’t stand doing other than my bathroom. But the men would be AMAZED to see what it’s like in a women’s bathroom at my work. They would be disgusted. lol
I agree with the Johnson’s opinion on “Rasselas”. I don’t believe there is no such thing as pure happiness in life. Life throws at you curves balls, gives you ups and downs. Through that you live, learn, and become a better person. However, through all of it, if you can find a moment there to laugh and enjoy what you have, that’s enough happiness itself… at least for me it is.
By Angela on 09.23.05 10:32 pm | Permalink
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