The Last Piece of Poundcake
It’s nice to see Elijah Woods reviving his creepy role of Kevin in Everything is Illuminated. I wonder whose bright idea it was to use the same glasses in Sin City. Sure Everything is Illuminated sounds semi-interesting but the image of Wood’s torso being stripped apart by a dog is still fresh in my memory. I probably would have enjoyed the scene much more if he were the midget from Lord of the Rings. What was his name again? Bobo? Frobo? Ginormous-Gratingly-Annoying-Pussy?
Last night, I collaborated with my sister and a friend to make Aussie Chicken and classic poundcake. The main course was delicious but the poundcake didn’t fair so well. After making the mix and waiting nearly 2 hours for it to bake, I basically de-pounded the poundcake. I took it out of the oven and had every intention of waiting the recommended 10 minutes for the tasty treat to cool. Instead, I turned the cake pan over and shook it vigorously until 3 seperate, broken pieces of the cake came tumbling down on the countertop. Listen, in my defense, it still tasted good. It just wasn’t intact.
I went to Babies ‘R Us to finish some baby shower shopping. I felt odd among the gaggle of minature clothing and brightly colored diaper bags. Even with the paper registry in hand, I floated around as if lost in a foreign country. The store itself is a giant warehouse of googly, moogly things for tiny human beings that will shit and cry for about, well, the rest of their lives. The husbands, slowly lumbering after their wives and holding a plump, pink, gurgling spawn in each arm, turned to me with pleading eyes. All I could do was offer them brief sympathetic glances while deciding between two vaguely kinky nipple pumps. I was most surprised when I came upon an aisle specifically for “Preemies”. You know, I’m certain that Preemies don’t appreciate being called that. It’s derogatory and implies that they are incapable of growing up. I suggest something a little more sensitive like Inconveniently Tiny. Regardless, the shopping experiences left a lasting impression on me. I’ve decided; I don’t really want to push out another human being from my vagina. Ever. If I ever want a kid, I’ll be sure to buy one like Angelina Jolie’s.
October 8th, 2005 at 8:12 am
Throughly enjoying your blog, and have been for many months. You make me laugh and Radio Blog always has some good tunes.
Have not seen or heard of Everything is Illuminated, but I DO look forward to watching little furry-footed-freak being used as a chew toy. Sounds like an entertaining sunday afternoon.
As an Aussie myself I’m kind of curious about what this “Aussie Chicken” is and also curious about weather I’ll sound like an arse for asking.
I’m sure if you look in Babies ‘R’ Us hard and long enough you will find a child without having to force one through your vagina. After all, Babies ARE Them.
October 8th, 2005 at 10:36 am
Aussie Chicken, I’m sure isn’t actually Aussie at all. It’s chicken breast marinated with a honey mustard sauce and topped with mushrooms, bacon, onions and three different cheeses. Is that the patented food in the outback? I didn’t think so….the bloomin’ onion is!!
October 8th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
I hate babies. There I said it. I know I’m in a very small minority, but I’m not afraid to say it, they just piss me the hell off. I see nothing positive about them.
Preemie is so not PC, how about ‘Fun Size’ like those little snickers bars?
I’m a loyal LOTR fan but I don’t particularly like Elijah Wood that much. Only he could have made such a big friggin deal out of throwing a ring into a volcano. And he always look like he’s sick. Weird.
October 9th, 2005 at 3:42 am
Strooth. O’course three flamin’ dif’rent cheeses ain’t the Outback way, mate! Now chuck that chicken on the barbie with some saggers and THAT would be dinkie-die aussie and dry as a dead dingo’s donga.
A dingo stole me baby!
*cough*
October 9th, 2005 at 1:03 pm
adoptions where its at!
October 9th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shit. I love you.
The new Elijah movie looks pretty good. I never saw Sin City so I can’t really relate. I hate kids.
October 9th, 2005 at 7:26 pm
I didn’t like sin city especially Elijah Woods Character … ICK
I love babies and honestly can’t wait to have another (well it would sort of be my first too?) But I will never pass a baby through my vagina as I got a cesarean section previously… thank god!
October 11th, 2005 at 1:43 am
aww after hearing about the chicken i feel hungry now lol :]] sounded yummy
October 11th, 2005 at 7:56 am
OOh, aussie chicken? I’ve never heard of that and I’m aussie ;-P but yummy ya? So that’s all that counts ^_^
I remember barbies. I used to chew their feet.. when I was like 4 of course haha.
I like you’re site, i’m adding you to my dailies!
mel.
October 11th, 2005 at 8:32 am
Aww @ the pundcake. That happened to me, except I was making brownies. The looked like plant soil when it was done but they still tasted good.
But your opinion about birth… heeheheh we share some similar thoughts
October 11th, 2005 at 9:58 pm
I reckon your not too big a fan of Frodo Baggins. The moment I caught sight of the Everything Is Illuminated poster, I immediately thought, Kevin in heaven. I sort of enjoyed him in Sin City when he pranced around like a ballerina.
I don’t want to give birth either. Adoption is a much better option.
October 11th, 2005 at 10:19 pm
LOL! Im sure the pound cake was fine! It all goes to the same place anyways right? And i agree on the baby thing. Adoption all the way for me!
October 16th, 2005 at 9:12 pm
Elijah Wood does take on weird roles. I dunno Ever since he was kid he did.
October 18th, 2005 at 2:36 pm
wow!! i wish i know how to cook those!
sounds really yummie!