As an English Literature student, I spend most of my time defending myself against criticism that English majors are ultimately useless. I often argue with my fellow classmates about why English majors are just as important as, say, Business or Political Science majors but I find that my defenses are usually ignored or scoffed at which really makes it even more difficult for me to suppress my homicidal tendencies. This might be a big stretch, so bear with me, but I’m guessing that there must be something more to English Literature than simply teaching because I hear there’s another B.A. called Education. But maybe that’s just a rumor.

English is an essential aspect of every day communication and a further understanding of literature (both American and international) provides vital perspective on time, place, philosphy and history. In writing, I can convince you to vote for a law, inspire action with an important essay on public policy, tell you how to put together a bookshelf or explain to you Einstein’s theory of relativity. Someone had to write that textbook, speech, pamphlet or novel that propells other human beings into thought and action. Additionally, I’m convinced that an English B.A. is far more flexible than a Liberal Arts education and it provides a solid background in both creativity, research and theory. Some may even argue that English majors don’t rake in as much income as, say, the asshole plastic surgeon, Christian, on Nip/Tuck. To that I say, no problem because I have every intention of marrying a lawyer, doctor or Johnny Depp. My argument here is weak considering the lack of evidence and sources but that’s only because I don’t have the energy to research varied statistics on English degrees and the job market. My basic point is that English majors should not be written off as easy and irrelevent degrees because I said so.

I’m also a Latin American and Caribbean Studies Minor which means I can combine my research education with an antropological one and be da bomb, baby. So I offer my deepest sympathies to those English degree seeking majors that have chosen to go through hell to study something they enjoy. By the way, I fucking hated The Grapes of Wrath, Lord of the Flies and every other generic high school fiction I had to read.

With that said, allow me to complain about my latest assignment: I’m on page one of a thirteen page research paper for my Anthropology Cuban course. In this research paper I attempt to compare and contrast the elements that seperate Cuban immigrant success in the United States with that of the Haitian experience in NYC and Miami. To put it simply, I’m trying to explain why do Cubans 0wnz Miami and Haitians don’t. I find this a little difficult to accomplish since I find Haiti and Cuba to be completely unrelated (they don’t even speak the same language). Granted, they are both Caribbean islands that share a similar revolutionary history but it’s hard to link the two in terms of immigration and why one is more successful than the other. Also, I kinda don’t care and I’m a little lazy.

Tags: college, Daily Jibba Jabba, english, tv

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