I Know How to Make an Entrance
Usually my life is very boring and that is the only way I can explain a lack of updates for a week. But something very awesome happened to me recently and I’m going to tell you about it:
After finishing the last of my exams I participated in a series of celebrations at a local bar, a regular college hangout, and I felt confident and content with my exam taking preformance. I entered the bar with such zest and spring in my step that I neglected to notice a puddle of water near the doorway. There were a million ways I could have gracefully tiptoed around the puddle but instead I walked right into it and in one terrifying moment, I thought I was going to die. My arms flailed wildly and I skidded across the floor, knees buckled inward in some bizarre squat. It seemed like I would dive head first behind the bar and end my life amid beer bottles and ice (and now it doesn’t seem like a bad way to die) but instead, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, I rammed face first into a gentleman’s crotch and hoisted myself up with his help. And I think that’s a great way to make friends.
I’ve decided that I will enter any bar the same way every time and it can be my “thing”. I have very little dignity left and I suppose I should just destroy it all before something truly mortifying happens to me.¹
Since the Fall semester is officially over, I now have the freedom to fully enjoy the festive bumper-to-bumper traffic, the carols of angry consumers and the joy of giving overly priced Christmas gifts. I’m so looking forward to it. And to prove it, I made a gingerbread house with my boyfriend and his sister.
Notice that the sheer excitement of creating a house made out of candy has rendered us speechless. I also take my icing craft very, very seriously.
I’m in the middle of my next knitting project. Even with the help of books and knitting videos I can’t seem to master the purl stitch. So, my scarf will consist of the same stitch in two colors. I’ve also missed two knitting meetings at the local bookstore which means by the time I learn anything worthwhile it will already be July.
Miscellaneous Information:
1. Magazines like Seventeen and Teen Cosmo have completely ruined the word mortify for me. It’s as if all the tweens in the world unanimously decided that ‘mortify’ would define their very existance in every embarrassing moment column.
December 13th, 2005 at 7:59 pm
Can’t say I’ve ever heard of someone ever falling face-first into someone else’s crotch. You should get an award.
Oh, gingerbread is awesome! I made about twenty little gingerbread-people and put them on my tree. Sweet little house you’ve got goin’ there. You should post pictures when you’re done!
December 13th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
Hey Mari. Wow! that is a hell of a way to enter a bar, i usually just walk in, but no, you take the cake. lol. Anyways, I hate wal-mart at x-mas, people pretty much suck around the holidays, sept when your with your family.
Oh, and Im sorry I can’t donate anything to charity, im broke, i did give toys to tots in a local fundraizer, but I will advertize your whole “donate at Shibooya and get free advertisement” on my site with a banner or button if you want?
later Mari!
-Kari
December 14th, 2005 at 9:41 pm
I can’t believe you were saved from death thanks to a man’s genitalia!!!
December 14th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
god damn ur a crafty one, that video is intense, ur so focused, i’m sure behind the camera there were plenty of objects levatating. I’m feeling the x-mas spirit too, barnes and noble at the oviedo mall is having this thing where u can buy books for kids with fucked up parents, i proceeded to say one of the top 10 most evil things by saying that i would by them quality works of literature like “Why ur Daddy Drinks” and “Life Isn’t A Handout For Dummies” then I felt bad at my evil humor and i bought books for 3 kids. Don’t tell anyone i did that tho, cant let people think i’m soft.
December 14th, 2005 at 11:52 pm
LOL at the crotch thing! XP
December 15th, 2005 at 9:59 am
LMFAO! omg. when i’m old enough to go into a bar i’ll try the same - lol! I would watch your vid…but i have dial up - i know… lets kill it!
I would donate but like…i’m poor too so…donate to meee!
=D