There’s a Reason Why Miami is the Road Rage Capital of the Nation

MC • 29th May 2007 • Uncategorized • Daily Jibba Jabba, ex-boyfriend, food, random, road rage

I think it has something to do with impatient women in SUVs.

The boyfriend and I spent Memorial Day Weekend in Ft. Lauderdale at the Napoli Belmar Resort, a small, quaint beachside hotel with affordable nightly rates and a great location but unfortunately extremely uncomfortable beds. We spent our time feasting like kings, appreciating one of the few truly gorgeous beaches in Florida and enjoying various bars and clubs. On our third day, we decided to rent 50cc scooters and headed towards a dock north of Ft. Lauderdale. We chatted at a stop sign while waiting, according to the laws of the road, for the two cars ahead of us to move forward on their turn. Apparently, we weren’t moving fast enough for the woman in the SUV following us who startled us with an unnecessary honk because clearly she must have had an important appointment with, I don’t know, the beach.

I like to think of myself as a relatively mild-mannered, reasonable person. But, perhaps it was the locale or maybe it was the ocean air that prompted me to turn around and belt out the longest, loudest most obscene list of insults I could come up with.

“You want to fucking honk at us?” I shouted, “See, now we’re going to wait.”

I glanced at an imaginary watch on my wrist, “And we’re gonna wait. I can sit here all fucking day.”

“Feel free to go around us. Go AHEAD!” I gestured wildly around me.

In retrospect, I can see how this would be hilarious. Imagine, if you will, a 5 foot girl on a scooter wearing a helmet one size too big screaming obscenities and gesticulating like a loony. Hell, I’d laugh at me.