Seriously, Don’t Be Greedy
I adore hummus. I live and breathe only to dip warm, freshly baked pita bread in smooth, creamy, delicious hummus. I am so confident in my favorite snack that if everything I ate turned to hummus, it still could not be enough.
Today I prepared myself a hummus lunch with warm, cut pita bread. Carefully, I created a small pool of Sabatino Black Truffle Olive Oil for dipping, an oil that is quite possibly the most delicious olive oil in existence. I decided to offer some to my boyfriend.
“Would you like to try this? It’s the olive oil that my sister brought from Europe. It’s so good.”
My boyfriend doesn’t just try it. He soaks the piece of pita bread in the oil like a sponge until every drop is gone and only a faint aroma lingers in the air.
“Oh my god, you ate it all!”
“No, I didn’t. There’s still some left.”
“I can’t believe you ate it all I said try and you ate it all.”
“I didn’t eat it all!”
“I can’t believe you ate it all. This is my lunch, you have your lunch over there. Don’t eat my lunch.”
“Are you being serious?”
Later, during a vicious match of Virtua Fighter 5 on my new Playstation 3, I thought I could enact my revenge by kicking my boyfriend’s ass but after 4 embarrassing losses I decided I would just have to settle with a cold, hard glare. My boyfriend samples my food in inappropriately large portions and he won’t let me win at games. Have you ever encountered a relationship so cruel?
June 25th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
I have never had truffles or truffle oil.. I must try it!
Haha, he owes you a night out or something.
June 26th, 2007 at 9:53 am
I like the way you think, Sasha.
June 26th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
That… is rude. I would have slapped him upside the head for it. Of course, when I do that to my guy friends they just laugh like I did the cutest thing in existence. Besides, you probably don’t want to be considered the abusive partner in the relationship, even if he would deserve it.
June 26th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
What can I say? I’m selfish when it comes to hummus!
June 27th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Funny how your dad’s Father’s Day gift, after only a week of his absence, has become your PS3.
June 27th, 2007 at 10:54 am
That bitch is mine now.
June 28th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Haha - this is why I’m so bad at sharing!
June 28th, 2007 at 10:46 am
I will make it up to you, honey, with gallons and gallons of the finest olive oil. To quote Smoove B:
“I will then rub jasmine-scented massage oil on your feet. I will rub your feet hour after hour. I will also rub your legs. Then, I will draw an exotic bubble bath for you, with only the finest bath oils to rub into your soft, creamy skin. And I will stand by your side and hold your towel for as long as it takes for you to become soothed by the bath. I will stand until my feet are tired from standing, just to give you a moment of pleasure.”
June 28th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Thank you, honey.
June 28th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
How long have you been together??? Hmmm?
Just kidding…ummm ya that is kinda rude isn’t it!
The hummus sounds wonderful with the truffle oil and pita…maybe he was just starving or something?
June 29th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Kent, We’ve been together for nearly 5 years but that’s an upcoming blog entry int he making
Also, after reading the blog entry, he decided to buy me a can of Spanish Olive Oil so now he is my favorite person in the world again.