I recognize it’s been months since I’ve updated the blog. I recognize that I had no real direction, no sense or purpose or growth to my posts although I desired it.
I feel I might take a new direction, a different approach to blogging on Shibooya. I went through several transformations recently, the first being the end of my nearly 6 year long relationship. The second being the discovery of a new love, a new romance that has always been dormant in my heart. And the third being a new and exciting business venture that I’m determined to pursue.

I was absolutely convinced that I would soon be married and living a wild and exciting life overseas. I believed I’d find a job opportunity that would be fulfilling, life-altering and ultimately productive. I also believed that life was unpredictable, that I was adaptable and that if things didn’t go exactly how I hoped, I could still plan-I could still deal.

While I still believe life is ambivalent and I still think I can change, I don’t believe in making plans anymore. That may sound mildly pessimistic but what I really mean is that I spent a great deal of time worrying about where I’ll be and who I’ll be with in five years that I never really took the time to appreciate the moment I was in and who I was in it with. I was always worrying. Ending my relationship was my decision- a painful, necessary (albeit abrupt), so-right decision. And I’m happy with it. It wasn’t easy but I’m happy with it. I now know exactly what I want. I wasn’t getting what I wanted and it took me a long time to realize I’d never get it.

So sure, I’m feeling grown up. Different, proud, wiser. I’m feeling all those banal things that we all feel when we survive a traumatic, emotionally crippling experience.

And now I’m happy with a new love. Perhaps we’ll be happy together for a good long while but, this time, I’m not making plans anymore. If he lets me love him today, then tomorrow and the day after that-well, that’s very fine with me. I can do that.

Lastly, I’ve invested in a direct sales position with Athena’s Home Novelties which sounds very boring. But if I said, I’m going to sell sex toys and spa products, it adds a certain je ne sais quoi. I’ll finish my training near the beginning of August and am inappropriately excited about starting my home parties and confidential consultations. It took some time to weigh the pros and cons of direct sales but after researching the company and attending one of their meetings I figured - I get paid to help women pick out bedroom toys that’s right for them and their partners? Sign me up.

I may take Shibooya in a different direction, or rather, I’m going to give Shibooya a new direction since it never really had one to begin with. Who knows what will happen, remember, I’m not planning any of this.