I spent a lot of time on this blog trying to embrace a niche, or rather, finding a niche that would embrace me. I didn’t succeed. I felt like if I could find some focus, I would develop more of a direction in my life. I thought by now that I’d be blogging about graduate school, an engagement or maybe a move overseas - but none of those things happened and there’s a good reason, I didn’t want any of those things. At least, not right now.

But, I feel like I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m OK with not knowing what I want to do with my life. I felt that icy fear of uncertainty: what is life like after college? Will he marry me? How much money will I make? Should I go back to school? And then I got really lazy, relying on the decisions of my then-boyfriend and constantly worried about how it would affect my life. I worried a lot about what would happen to me, but I never really did anything about it. I blogged half-heartedly, intermittently wanting to do more but unmotivated to start. So, after years of freaking out and being deeply dissatisfied, I’m now happy with where I am. It’s an intermission in my life where I am free to do as little or as much as I want, and I don’t want to waste a moment of it.

So, allow me to re-introduce myself:

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I recognize it’s been months since I’ve updated the blog. I recognize that I had no real direction, no sense or purpose or growth to my posts although I desired it.
I feel I might take a new direction, a different approach to blogging on Shibooya. I went through several transformations recently, the first being the end of my nearly 6 year long relationship. The second being the discovery of a new love, a new romance that has always been dormant in my heart. And the third being a new and exciting business venture that I’m determined to pursue.

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