Antiques: On Sunday, a group of us went to Mt. Dora for the thrice yearly Antique extravaganza. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone antiquing and I was thrilled to rummage through old and dusty furniture alongside old and dusty people. I adore antique wooden furniture, jewelry and retro posters. I found sheet music for the 1948 film Moon Rise but purchased it primarily for the cover which featured an elegant drawing of a Japanese geisha. I have a vice for antique posters and am inspired to redecorate the computer room with such a theme. For 5 bucks, it will contribute perfectly to the office redecoration scheme.

My favorite aspect of antique shows are the items that give one the creeps. Case in point: Scary dog in a purple, velvet suit. The dog sits, or rather squats, on a wooden chair with a finger pointing to the sky as if proclaiming to all who see him “I am frightening!”. I’ve tried very hard to envision the kind establishment that would require an oddly positioned, dressed up pooch and I’m having an even harder time trying to think of a room in a house it would look good in. Time hasn’t been good to this unique figurine but the seller has taken great care in preserving its scariness (note the hand-written sign that reads VERY FRAGILE).

Far more loveable than the squatting canine must certainly be racist paraphernalia. Observe the wooden carving of a man hanging by a noose from a tree. Delightful!

Alcohol: Cappy over at the finally updated Cappycom.com turned an ancient 24 this weekend. This somehow gives all his friends, including myself, reason to kill him via alcohol poisoning. We had a terrific time bar hopping through downtown Orlando until my best friend of 6 years decides to regurgitate his sushi dinner all over my boyfriend’s left hand which is almost like shooting your fellow hunter in the face, but not quite. The 4 of us who were relatively sober found this hilarious and instead of preventing Cappy from wallowing in his own vomit, we took numerous pictures with our camera phones. This kind of activity requires a certain level of retardation and a strong stomach for half-digested sushi. Happy Birthday, bitch.

Astronomically pointless details: I’m knitting a blue cellphone cozy for my boyfriend’s awesome Blackberry. It will be done in approximately 3,000 years.

I’m also in the middle of Grandia III which is proving to be highly addictive and very entertaining. The game has developed greatly in terms of dialogue and character development. I’m thoroughly impressed and still recovering from epileptic seizures induced by the colorful, action packed fighting sequences.

In addition, Wordpress’ rich text editor is much more trouble than it’s worth.

I watched the Super Bowl XXX on a 3D-High Definition Super Digital Megumultiplex Flatscreen TV and somehow, it was still boring (but in an awesomely 3D-High Definition Super Digital Megumultiplex Flatscreen way) .

On our way home from the Super Bowl Party Deluxe, my boyfriend and were stopped by a police car. The right tail light of my car was out since last week and I figured sooner or later a cop would stop me to let me know or ticket me. Still, I’ve never been pulled over and after seeing the movie Crash I’ve been terrified of being wrongly taken advantage of. I was shaking and tears were ready to squeeze out of my wide-as-saucer eyes even though reason should rule that I had nothing to be afraid of; I left all my pot at home. As my boyfriend parked the car in the nearest gas station he turned to me calmly and said, “You know, I think my license is suspended.” At this revelation, I think I peed a little. In the seconds it took for the police officer to approach the driver side window I had already envisioned my boyfriend being carted away in handcuffs for driving a vehicle with a suspended license while I sat there peeing and crying miles away from home.

My boyfriend rolled the window down and the cop asked, “Have you been drinking tonight?” This was a very easy question for my boyfriend to respond truthfully: no, we hadn’t.

Before I could let my boyfriend answer I started to babble, “Well, you see Officer, we don’t know where we are! We just came from a party and we don’t know the area!” At this point I am fully aware that I am hysterical for no reason and that, more importantly, the officer wasn’t even directing the question to me, the passenger. I noticed my boyfriend’s sidelong glance that longed to silence me but I was much too preoccupied with what jail would be like. Do they have a continental breakfast? Is a cavity search mandatory?

In my hyperventilating daze my boyfriend stepped out of the car, chatted with the cop, observed that all my tailights were out and escaped the situation without a shootout occurring or a ticket being issued.

Moral of the story: always fix your tail lights and at a time of crisis, never tell your girlfriend your license is suspended just because you forgot to take an online driver’s test.