I often complain about the deplorable state of MTV and yet I can’t, even to save my life, stop myself from watching Laguna Beach. I’m not a regular viewer but I catch the reruns whenever I can and sit, glassed eyed and stupified, while Alex M. and Jessica fight over Jason. Ah, Jason. Out of all the cast members of Laguna Beach, Jason is the one I loathe the most. His profile on MTV.com claims he’s the “bad-boy” of the show, a guy who can’t seem to commit to just one girl. Let me put it this way: Jason would have more personality if he were beaten to death with a baseball bat. Jason seems to exist on a plane most humans being don’t; a plane where facial expressions and conversation are virtually nonexistant but grunts and one-word responses are the only means of communication. I just so happen to have a visual aid of what exactly goes on in Jason’s mind:

Clearly, his strained smile seems to say, “Hey, I’m a cool guy” but as I’ve demonstrated, there’s really nothing going on up there. I’d hate to single Jason out because he’s certainly not the worst mindless douchebag on the Laguna Beach crew but he’s absolutely the most uninteresting. In comparison, I have way more fun trying to figure out how many STD’s Kristin has than watching an episode with Jason in it.