Alright, so maybe I’m being just a little dramatic. Tomorrow I turn 25 years old and I’m facing it with a mixture of trepidation and apathy. I actually forgot it was my birthday until a few days ago when my love asked me where I wanted to go for dinner. I perked up thinking, what’s the occasion? Oh, that’s right, I’m turning a miserable 25 years old. La di da.

Half of me feels like I’m suddenly too old and too different for certain things that I’ve experienced. I get bored at nightclubs but I can’t stand pseudo-posh bars with enormous metal menus and pricey (yet unsatisfying) entrees. Working on a college campus makes me feel old, out of place and tired. I am often broke. I have a degree but feel as though I’ve accomplished nothing - as if my B.A. in English just isn’t enough for the world. Occasionally, I feel a certain kind of anxiety when it comes to relationships. I’m convinced I’m un-marriagable and will remain the eternal girlfriend (which I totally predicted 10 years ago).

Yesterday I tried making bread, again, in my bread machine. It was a disaster and it turned out kind of like me. The ingredients were added in the wrong order so it was flavorless and the wrong consistency.

The other half of me is truly delighted with how my life is going: I have a fabulous boyfriend, a lovable dog, a solid job and my overall health is improving with every run. I’m only 25, for God’s sake, and at least I have a degree tucked under my belt. My life is filled with love and lovely things - so this whole quarter life blues, well, it’s got to go.

I can rely on the holidays for a happy distraction and yes - I am a complete sucker for Thanksgiving (my favorite), Christmas and New Year’s. There’s something special about these days that just inspire a sense of renewal, energy and togetherness. I can’t help it, I’m a total sap for the proverbial holiday cheer. I love to host dinner parties and this year, I’m hosting Thanksgiving dinner at the home that I share with my boyfriend. Naturally, I’m all atwitter over decorations, table settings and menu planning.

After a few trips to the local dollar stores - and a huge shout out to Dollar Tree which has to be my all time favorite dollar store - I’m totally ready to Merry the shit out of Christmas.

I spent a lot of time on this blog trying to embrace a niche, or rather, finding a niche that would embrace me. I didn’t succeed. I felt like if I could find some focus, I would develop more of a direction in my life. I thought by now that I’d be blogging about graduate school, an engagement or maybe a move overseas - but none of those things happened and there’s a good reason, I didn’t want any of those things. At least, not right now.

But, I feel like I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m OK with not knowing what I want to do with my life. I felt that icy fear of uncertainty: what is life like after college? Will he marry me? How much money will I make? Should I go back to school? And then I got really lazy, relying on the decisions of my then-boyfriend and constantly worried about how it would affect my life. I worried a lot about what would happen to me, but I never really did anything about it. I blogged half-heartedly, intermittently wanting to do more but unmotivated to start. So, after years of freaking out and being deeply dissatisfied, I’m now happy with where I am. It’s an intermission in my life where I am free to do as little or as much as I want, and I don’t want to waste a moment of it.

So, allow me to re-introduce myself:

(more…)

Photo by Colors of My Dreams

Like the rest of America, I started the New Year with a resolution of eating better and being active. It wasn’t until the end of January that I became serious about the former.

After earning my Bachelor’s degree, I expected to take full advantage of my newly acquired free time by picking up old hobbies and learning how to cook. Instead I ate out. A lot. After months of pizza, Chinese take-out, and fast food burgers, I received a rude awakening: my bank statement. I added up all the times I had opted to order take out, grab fast food or eat at a chain restaurant in a single month and came up with an astonishingly embarrassing total of $162.00

I spent $162.00 on food I didn’t even enjoy. I decided I would change that before I became the literal embodiment of the Supersize menu. But first, how does one choose a banana over a Mrs. Fields cookie? How can one possibly choose between Panera’s panini and a home-made sandwich? It’s as easy as changing your perspective. Trust me. I am not, by any means, a food critic or an experienced cook which should provide some encouragement to even the most inept at the stove. Here are some simple steps I took to start enjoying home-prepared food and ultimately eating better.

(more…)