I never thought an entire day could be ruined with a badly worded sentence but boy, oh, boy did I prove myself wrong today.

I was having a very pleasant conversation with a part-time instructor at the community college where I work when I made an enormously asinine comment. The instructor was inquiring about my degree in English and whether I was interested in teaching as a profession. Instead of telling her about my interest in publishing and editing or any number of decent responses, I replied with, “Well, if I decide to teach I’d rather study for my Master’s so I can teach at upper levels of education.”

As soon as the words had left my mouth, I realized how astronomically asshole-ish it sounded. Had I just implied that the “upper levels of education” excluded community colleges and therefore rendered her occupation (and intelligence) on a lower scale of significance? Am I a total idiot? Specifically, the “upper levels of education” excluded grade school and wasn’t meant as a description of superiority on any scale. But how could I possibly clarify myself without looking like an even bigger twat?

If she was offended she didn’t show it and I was grateful for that. I’m sure in an alternate reality she probably would have asked me to shove my degree in the upper levels of my anal cavity.